0230, Wednesday.
Crap. No matter how exhausted I am, I cannot stay down. On the other hand, the continued sleep deprivation is better than Peyote, as I suddenly shift up into a blissful mood and the Universe at last gives the symbol I have called for, though of course, it and its meaning is mine and mine alone. The final tumbler clicks, I see it and understand as the board unfolds again and again and again, lighting a path through the maze to suggest a future action that will, in a stroke, give happiness to everyone concerned, her family, my family, her lover, everyone. I have seen twenty seven moves ahead and squared the circle, and a small smile finally forms. Everything changes and the moment stays with me, buoys me as later, the grief pulls me under yet again.
As the night drags on, unable to sleep I attack the front room in a sluggish attempt at cleaning to prepare for Niece's upcoming visit. Driving out to drop off some recyclables off, I stop by Unnamed Interiors Store and drop her old employee mini-manual in their mailbox. Figure that one out, you meddling biddies. I smile in honor of my old University residence and our group, Tri Kuppa Brew, and our pledge to make other people's lives a little more surreal. Oh, I got plans for you, you yuppie parasites. By morning I am finished enough to attempt napping, then finally settle on taking the 3:15 boat.
above all, patience
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1 comment:
Hang in there, my friend.
Wish there was something I could do.
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