So.

I miss her. 13 years ago, I held her as she passed. My life has no answers to her last thought. Have a Good Life. How? I am lashed to another survivor, and there is no land to be seen, and we turn on each other like rats. I miss her. Miss the idea of her. Miss everything she was.

Love, would you laugh, to see me now? What counsel would you give.

In which we are overtaken by events.

Where has a year gone? Or the one before that? I have friends in Japan who I owe a thank you letter to, and have for 4 years now, for letting me stay with them. The letter has grown increasingly hard to imagine. A lot has happened since, and started happening the day I waved - we waved - good bye at the station. They were expecting our next meeting to be a wedding. Cities have fallen, risen again, and been smashed anew in the time since. Pieces have been swept off the board, the board has rearranged itself like a living thing, and it would be the work of a novel to describe it all.

New Year's Day. The day of deaths and renewals. Quite literally, in my case.

N and I saw TRON yesterday, and it was fantastic, nostalgic and elegiac. There's been a lot of criticism of the film, but almost all of it baffles me, babbling on about underdeveloped ideas and implausibilities. Look, this isn't Dostoyevsky. It's a fantasy story set inside a computer. A boy is drawn into a magical land and must go on a quest to save his lost father. It is beautiful and it is simple, and some people are seriously overthinking things.